Endings and Beginnings
Well in a flurry of activity that had me sewing for 22 out of 36 hours, I finished Mike's Jedi Knight costume. Well, finished is a loose term. An unexpected Halloween party came up, and so I was busting ass trying to get it finished in time. Before next Halloween, I'll finish up everything I didn't have time for. I have to say, I might have redeemed myself in my eyes. It looks damn good. It's also probably the most complicated thing I've ever sewn. I wasn't really anticipating it to be such a challenge, either. I just sort of trusted that I'd be able to pull it off. Except for the few shortcuts I had to take that will be rectified later, it is a nice piece of work. Not exceptional, no I don't delude myself that I'll ever reach the standards that I'd like to, but still very nice.
Even though I've skated through today on about four hours of sleep, I've been in a really good mood. Work was fun. My little break seemed to do the trick, with the extra time off because of payroll issues. I feel equal to the task of putting up with the holiday rush now. It'll be very good. I'm so glad that we set the clocks back tonight so that I get an extra hour of sleep.
I got on the WIRE today at work and there was a bit 56 SHOPPING DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!! banner at the top of the page. That means my birthday is in two months. It's really scary to think that's it's so close, the time has flown. I must say, this has been a very good year. It's had it's share of ups and downs, but really, this year has been much better than last year. I feel like I'm moving in a good direction.
And to talk about scary things, NaNoWriMo starts in two days. I think it'll be very fun, very challenging, very frustrating, and ultimately, very rewarding. The story has been running wild in the forests of my head, gathering substance as it roams. I've been feeding it a steady diet likeminded books. It will be interesting to see what sort of beast it'll be when I try to tame it to the page. My laptop should be in my hands come Wednesday, so I'll only have to contend with the family's computer for a few days.
I want a bath and then a mug of cider while I finish my book.
NaNoWriMo, meet Iron John
I've decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. Not so much because I had anything I really wanted to work on, in fact I don't want to subject any of my babies to such torture. I just need to get back into the habit of writing--couple that with a vague regret for
not participating for the last two years, and here I am, all signed up.
Now, my next step was to figure out what *exactly* am I going to write. I wasn't about to start from scratch (although if I do it again I might) so I sat down with my plot and characterization books and tried to pick something. I was casually flipping through another book and read an interview with Donna Jo Napoli about her book
Zel and indeed her whole take on expanding fairy tales. It sparked something inside of me, and I quickly drew out my gilded, leatherbound copy of Grimm's Complete Fairy Tales, thinking vaguely of writing about "The Goose Girl" or perhaps "The Raven" but nothing seemed to lend itself well to a 50k expansion. A few jumped out at me, but there just didn't seem to be enough there. I ended up getting sucked into the stories, and became absorbed in a tale called "Iron John".
It's not really about Iron John, but about an unnamed prince who has contact with the title character. What grabbed me was the depth of the characters, the goodness of the prince in the face of adversity, and the unnamed princess, whose playfulness and wittiness is completely and utterly conveyed in one line of dialogue at the very end of the story. Also, Iron John is noble and sad, even though he's portrayed as an evil(ish) character. There just seemed to be a lot to work with, and indeed I'm seeing a thousand ways to expand it.
I expect to be very busy this November, but I can't wait. I know the story has been adapted before, but I've not read the adaptation, so I don't expect to be much colored by it. As far as I can tell, the previous adaptations have tried to be an adventure story, a plot about doing. I'd like to tell a more introspective story, about the goodness of the prince's heart and the guilt that exists there and what he tries to do to atone for it. In fact, I think it'll be interesting to see the differences after I'm done.
What would Freud say about this?
I am the only person in the world who can look at an adorable picture of a seal with cute icicles on its whiskers and exclaim loudly "I'm surprised their eyeballs don't explode!"
I. Have. No. Idea.
My brain was actually thinking: "freeze"
My mouth said: "explode"
Why? Why must it twist so horribly in my head? Are my wires that crossed?
This is right up there with the flaming brain spiders...
The Curse of The Nervous Seamstress, The Questing Washerwoman, and other tales
I took on a last minute Halloween project. I'm making a Jedi Knight costume for Mike. I think it'll come out very nicely, but I am still touched by worry (induced by an unmentionably shaming experience). I always am when I start a new sewing project. I think that's why I don't sew more. Maybe this'll right some wrongs, and I'll be free of the nervous seamstress curse.
The washer and drier are silent, which means I can do more laundry. Yay! I've decided I need to put together a binder on laundry care. I never know how to treat anything, and stains? PAH, I've lost more clothing to stains than I care to mention. How should I wash this? What should I do to that? It's time for a nice reference for EVERYTHING I need to know. And where I can put more info if I need to.
It's been nice to be reading regularly again. I read at nights and during the day. In the mornings I've been reading with a cup of hot cider, and I'm loving it. It's so calming. A wonderful way to start the day. Now to cultivate other good habits.
I think part of the problem with my job is that I get too personally invested in my work. Which, in some lines of work, is a great thing. This one? Not so much. I'm very motivated to look for a new job, while I'm also figuring out how to make this one feel better. I'm slowly but surely formulating a list of criteria for a new job. It's got to be full time, it's got to be with a smaller company, It's got to be something I can be proud of, and it has GOT to fit my personality better. We'll see, we'll see.
My car has eyeballs!
Today was a good day. I slept well, work went fast and smooth, and my car is paid for and is sitting quite prettily in my driveway. I won't be able to drive it until at least next paycheck, but it's there, and it's *mine*. Of course I'm noticing a ton of things I didn't at first, but that's ok. For what I paid, it's a steal, faults and all. It was beautiful to drive, though. A little realignment wouldn't hurt, but it was responsive and powerful, just the sort of car that's fun to drive. And it has the headlights that flip up that always reminded me of eyeballs. I didn't notice before! I'm quite happy.
A Fresh Page
The blank page is sometimes the scariest of propositions. A blank journal or notebook filled with that horrid, expansive whiteness, that winding sheet herald of possibilities that dares this mortal quill to marr it. Any mark that sullies it snuffs out forever the other choices, the other words and thoughts of the now. It's the world in miniature, our path before us--unknown--but soon to be chosen. Like footprints through a field of snow, words fill the page, sometimes haphazard, sometimes orderly, and always, always irrevocable--until the snow melts, that is.
So here I am, starting anew. Termination dust is on the mountains. Winter is fast approaching here. I've been remiss in doing something that brings me a lot of pleasure. I worry about others, I worry about their expectations, and in my worry I forget that I'm really doing it for me and no one else. Livejournal will be allowed to die peacefully, I think, with only the odd revival for the occasional checkup on old friends.
Patrick and I celebrated our six month anniversary this week. I was out of sorts and cross for parts of the two days we spent together, but he's learning quite well to present a calm and solid front against my torrential emotions. It soothes me beyond belief, and knowing he'll be there during and after the storm allows me to move that much faster towards my center.
I'm desperately wanting a new job. Mine is stifling, and even though I really like my duties, I don't believe in the company, and I don't like the way we're treated. Also, I writhe with embarrassment whenever I have to tell anyone where I work. For all the downfalls, I have gained a lot from this job, and I am thankful for it.
I'm a Zuma addict. It's not so bad, but if Zuma were a drug, I'd definitely be a regular user. Fortunately it seems to be self regulating, as my eyes can only handle so much. I wonder what makes it so appealing, for all it's simplicity. It gives such satisfaction. It's visually stimulating with colors and movements and bold designs. It's audibly rewarding and appropriate, with distinctive music and sound effects that aren't overwhelming or distracting. The point system is fun and practical. The different modes are played with a different set of skills, and the courses also challenge in different ways. I play best in a very loosely trancelike state, where I'm just aware of colors and form. It's like meditation. Very Zen.
Money, ah, money. Duties, the real world in general. Pah. Leave it all behind. Oh, wouldn't it be nice to never worry about things like that? I'm trying to pay off the car, and Shar is nowhere to be seen. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I hate it when people say "we need to talk" and then walk away. Just tell me already! I also need to get my taxes done. Gosh, did you know I've paid nearly 1500 in taxes so far? Ludicrous!
The to do list is neverending. I really do need to address some important things, but I'm getting there, slowly and steadily. Okay, I lied. Fits and spurts, fits and spurts.
I had a good conversation with an old friend. Hiro showed up again tonight. I haven't seen him, let alone talked to him in years. It's amazing how he's changed in the time away from me. Of course, being an imaginary friend, it's my changes he's reflecting. And perhaps he's coming back at just the right time. It's much better to be in good company than to be alone, and his presence did make the walk feel not only more safe, but shorter too. And you know what spurred his appearance? Worries about moose!
I've been thinking a lot about the farm. Or should it be The Farm. Whatever it is, it's close. It's here, I'm moving in ways that ripple just so to bring it closer and closer. Books, thoughts, visits, tables, plans, practice. I can see it here in this countryside. Fitting, somehow.
For 45 cents, I picked up some dried hyacinth blossoms at New Sagaya's. I boiled them in water and added some sugar and have been since enjoying my Hyacinth blossom syrup. It's vaguely reminiscent of the blackberry syrup I made in Northern California. It's very fragrant, and delightfully tart, which means you can use very little for a big punch. I'm quite pleased.
Pat and I finally figured out how to get to that yarn shop. I saw a wonderful pattern for a sweater with leaves and things, and I bought a very nice knitting book. It's heartening to know that there seem to be no providers of angora bunny yarn. Means a possible cornering of the market. They also sell loose fiber there. I can practice the different ways to do whatever it is I might want to be doing. How fun!
I also bought a book tonight called Inkheart. It's a translation of a german book, and looks to be pretty interesting. I *finally* got into Moonheart by Charles de Lint. I've owned the book for nearly a decade, and just couldn't bring myself to start. I'm ever so glad I did, though.
See, the words, they flow, and they're mine.
